fasting starts tmr! till 8th August. i actually dont think i'll miss facebook that much xD BUT EM MUST PUT UP THE TORRES PICTURES BY TODAYYY. D:
oh btw so are we all moving to wordpress? :D
♥
Sunday, June 27, 2010
You gave me this breath, and you gave me this strength. 11:15 PM
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made is calming. When i listen to it, it's like waves of peace and love just like keep on rushing and coming, breaking over me, overwhelming me. The words ring so true and sigh, i'm so glad i found this song.
Undoubtedly, live beats recording because recording will never have the one thing a live performance has. Putting it in the words daryl said so cutely, its when you really feel the vibrations, you know? haha! But i think the recording of this song is like epic! One Voice has a long way to go before we can give that kind of full sound, that sustenance...! zomg i meltzz( like b&j's!). In the cd version, every chord is like whooooooooosh, i is :D.
AND OMG I AM SO AMAZED I FOUND A GUY WHO CAN HARMONIZE IN CHURCH HAHHAHAHAHAHA I AM SO AMAZED FINALLYYY. I IS :D!
Speaking of b&j's, today was awesome despite the 3 hours of lounging around in church being anti-social(for me, haha) and doing rachiek's math, the fail captain's ball in collared shirts and jeans and muddy slippery ground, waiting for dinah and mabel and michele to be done with their supposedly short sgl meeting. I think i have an overload of b&j's. i will just abstain from icecream for like, a month. that means i will make my brothers finish the ice cream we have at home! heehee. but i digress! today was really fun! why? because we talked about guys! haha nah not exactly, but it was a fresh, exciting, funny, comfortable talk(: let's ignore the m18 backdrop; the outing actually helped me learn a lot. :D
i'm so glad God blessed me with friends like these. (With fronds like these, who needs anemones?) :D thanks for simply understanding. esp flora, you know ily(: rachiek, you know how much i appreciate your never-ending bubble of weirdness + entertainment right? (: and thanks for being there all this time, and understanding so much :D kj, you toot! i wish..... you'll be happier :D keep coming and trying, kay(:
today turned out to be a good thing after all(: and guess what? ss transcript due on friday. lifesaver! God makes everything work(:
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hmm, world cup? uhhh. i guess i dont follow so i cant blog much about it. (: but it deserves some mentioning, because TORRES is playing! :D hmm... okayokay i thought of something!
osl people asking me: hey who do you think will win(for world cup)? me: uhm..... -deep in thought-
is china out yet?
well, people start laughing, and chia gives me a really weird look. but of course i know that china isnt gonna win la, right! .___________. right?
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SCHOOL TMR. homg i get to see jocie and hazel and em and everyone! :D that makes me excited.
:D SCHOOOOOOOL.
--- Privileges (for Christina) Eireann Corrigan
If you are gaining weight at the acceptable pace, (which is two and a half to three pounds a week) and you have graduated from tubes and have no clumsy IV to dance partner alongside you- As long as doctor has not secured you with restraints on bed rest, then you can sign out at the nurses’ station to the pediatric unit’s toy room to play video games. It smellslike the floor where people hook their kidneys to machines and because we are not innocently sick, those nurses give us severe looks before bustling back into the rooms of the blameless leukemia patients. But they have Donkey Kong and Burger Time and also that unlatched window that leads directly out to the hospital roof. Bingo. Freebird. You watch the door while I swing over one leg at a time, then stand in front of the view, all the cars in the lot that can drive home. I’ll yank you through the window but don’t forget to turn back, prop it open with a cheap doll torso on the sill so we can get back inside. Sayonara psychiatric ward, farewell to Nurse Betsy, who believes that everyone pacing the hallway is trying to burn off breakfast. Out here, we run laps across the speckled asphalt until our sides stitch with pain. Then we do sit-ups, counting aloud to the night. There are soft patches of tar to stick a penny for each month we’ve been inside. and when we race, your gown tied in the back billowing forward and your gown tied in the front billows back and you look like a bride or some shepherdess-lost in all her robes. Soon you’ll get nervous and say it’s time to go inside. But let’s crouch together for a few more minutes and relish that good shiver, let our teeth clatter and show off our narrow shoulders to that wide and hulking sky. Tomorrow on those long sofas of group therapy, we’ll both claim we want to die. But we’ll mean: please someone convince us to stick around. Remind us over and over that we deserve to drink even the milk left over in the cereal bowl, to sop up what’s left on our plates with bread. Because last night, we stood on top of fourteen floors of suffering-from the maternity to the morgue. Hundreds of beds buckling beneath the weight of legitimate illness, thousands of plastic sacks of donated blood- We stood above all of it and did not leap. Neither of us even dangled from the grainy ledge or balanced one foot on the parapet. Let’s be honest here-we’ve hardly approached any edges at all.
i like the way this is written. (Y)
♥
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Fearfully and Wonderfully made 12:03 PM
Well, so after lots of fretting and worrying i have decided to do my ss el pt on abortion :D and after this morning i have the rough idea of what i am going to do! and pretty much typed my speech out, save for the parts which i am supposed to insert research in. :D i think its stupid that we have to hand in our script before the executive summary!
i have a weird feeling about this! because either the teachers will love it or they will hate it. i mean the topic alone, because its kinda based on moral/not moral that kinda thing, not very clear cut like other topics eg. foreign workers etc. but i dont care because at least it truly is a topic i feel passionate about. i looked at the rubrics and it does fulfil the criteria of bringing good to society when the law is changed. it does! (:
it is da weekendddddd! on thursday i watched toystory 3 and knight and day, which were both really good! today i am watching karate kid and then studying ss in church and then worship prac. :D
i'm not feeling so unprepared for school anymore, although the things i have done are still basically zero. huh weird. i will get through this, oh yes i will.
送你一个诚意的微笑！ :D
♥
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Soaring, tumbling, freewheling through an endless diamond sky 12:14 AM
was singing this during osl lucky plaza dinner! they had this pirated karaoke thingy HAHA.
aladdin has always been one of my favourite disney characters! i mean, come on, HE HAS A MONKEY. a monkeyyy!!!!11!1!!1! what more can you askkk? :DDDD
and i'm getting forgetful D: super scary i tell you!
i forgot that ashley was my classmate. then i forgot josoh was in my group. then i forgot maegan was my classmate.
NUUU T.T
Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? i like, but nooo! deny self and let God decide.
[edit] if a guy sang this nicely to me i would just melt [/edit]
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i'm watching toy story 3 tomorrow with cousins and mom(haha)! :D
oh, and i just learnt today that ss sa is on wednesday(?!) and that math logs summary is due next week. and i still dont know when ss pt first draft is due D: first week when? grr monday and friday a lot of difference! xD
chem will do when sch repoens. must start on ss transcript. must catch up with logs and remainder factor theorem. must do overdue for like 1673202 days yanjiangci.
will not put the rest here :D
♥
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
OSL 10:01 PM
i'm glad i went for working camp(: i see osl for what it is in a clearer way now. not completely, but definitely much more.
i'm starting to feel connected to Grubs, to Team 1, and to OSL as a whole! :D i made more friends with osl mates and mentors! i had fun(: i'm excited for the rest of the journey.
i'm starting to find more meaning in the things we do and how we reflect, because i quote ashley: pc is bs. and yes i'm so glad chia kept emphasising on the fact that honesty is a very important factor in teams, if we want to progress and all. i used to think the people here all seemed to be wanting this for themselves. for the title,glory,idk. perhaps that was the wrong impression selection camp gave me. and the reflections we did, they were pointless and dragged on just to fill the alloted time slot. up until now.
although some parts are still rather fake to me, i'm beginning to see the icy mask melting, and i'm happy. i hope we'll be one big family soon, working together for a common goal, which is to serve(:
i frowned when:
she said osl was the highest sls in rgs, that everyone looks up to osl. like we were the best sl or something. i think sl projects are not ranked by title and like how hard we work, and how far we go out into the world, but by the impact we give the people we're serving, and ultimately if we fulfil our purpose of serving! but maybe she didnt mean it in that way, i shall give her the benefit of the doubt.
when the mentors asked something along the lines of "what do you think you're going there for?", i frowned when:
she said we were going to teach the kids what we know, so that one day they can become like us. hidden message: everyone wants to be like us. but what makes you think we're any better than them? you subconsciously(or consciously) keep on weaving these kind of messages in what you say, and i'm like ): but yeah i get that maybe she means they want the kind of education we have, compared to their own, cos education means so much to them.
she said that we're going there to teach the kids what we know, so that they can gain a lot in life and have a better standard in english and thus have a brighter future. that we can try to give them a chance to experience what kind of learning styles we have here, cos they will never have that chance. i mean. the way she said it, she totally meant it that we were better then them, and we were giving them a lot of things, and they should be grateful for it. grrr! this is like, similar to the previous one. both are partly true, but both people have the idea that we're like, higher than them, that we are giving them, and that's just it. as if the people are gaining a lot from what you have to give.
i hate how people don't see that we gain so much from them too! not that i've gone on it yet, but that's what should happen. and the way they put things its like, they're standing, holding out this precious thing a crouching, poor child wants- education. the way they dont crouch along with the child, interact and feel what he's feeling, it's weird. how is that serving? its the same as donating to things because you're rich, you can. it's serving from a distance, half-heartedly. they're all nice people really, but i think this is a mentality most of us subconsciously have. ):
our mentor then asked why are we here, and what we think service is. i frowned when nobody could answer D: does this mean that when we strip away the politically correct answers, we're really left with nothing? i dont believe it. when i think, i'm here because God put me to. because i want to serve in love, and i think i can learn to. and i can contribute. its all so clear, so easy when you put God in the picture, and so blur and confusing when you take Him out. service is to serve God. service in the world is to serve people? i guess by serving people you serve God. ._. i guess its the trauma from the previous questions, all of us were dumbfounded and had a momentary brainfreeze. some of them said it was too overwhelming. our mentor told us to think about it, about our answer. i knew my answer from the start. i hope they find theirs soon.
chia, stop saying you're a horrible person. you dont believe that(: fearfully and wonderfully made yeah! AWKWARD TURTLE FTW.
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Disturb me, O Lordd!!
♥
Monday, June 21, 2010
Oh! Happy day, happy day, I'll never be the sameeee~ 5:28 PM
Could we with ink the ocean fill, And were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, And every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God above Would drain the ocean dry; Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Though stretched from sky to sky.
(Y)
When I consider your heavens, th work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:3-4)
Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when i sit and when i rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in- behind and before. You have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can i go from your Spirit? Where can i flee from your prescence? If i go up to the heavens, you are there; if i make my bed in the depths, you are there. If i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there you hand will guide me, your rght hand will hold me fast.
If i say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, and light become night around me", even the darkness will not be dark to you, and night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when i was made in the secret place, when i was woven together in the depths of the earth. You saw my unformed body, All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts O Lord, how vast is the sum of them! If i were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When i awake, I am still with You.
Psalm 139:1-18. from memory.
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i cried.
Prayer by Sir Francis Drake
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves, When our dreams have come true Because we have dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when With the abundance of things we possess We have lost our thirst For the waters of life; Having fallen in love with life, We have ceased to dream of eternity And in our efforts to build a new earth, We have allowed our vision Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, To venture on wider seas Where storms will show your mastery; Where losing sight of land, We shall find the stars. We ask You to push back The horizons of our hopes; And to push into the future In strength, courage, hope, and love.
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O.M.G!!! :D Only Me and God, truly! :D it was awesmazing, the camp comm really did a great job! thank God yeahhhhhh! epic games, Wet And Totally Epic Relays, night games(a real big maze in church?!), b&j's, ahhh!! and the great sermons! pastor siew chye is the cutesttttt! (: i'm still having post-camp highness. :D i'm still feeling that surge of happiness! -points to title- i hope this fire never dies. i dont want it to die! it better not die! i won't let it die.
but yes, my definition of forever just took on a whole new meaning. i know i'm gonna be with God forever :D
this camp is a whole new milestone for me. because its like, a veil just got taken away from my eyes, you know? i can see things so much clearer now. and i really have to watch out for whats clogging up my life. just 4 days away from the world, and i felt so clean, so fresh, so alive. and closer to God than ever, yesyesyes! I really didnt want to go back, haha.
so here i will proclaim that i will ban myself from dramas. forever. korean, taiwan, jap, etc. not even one! idontcare. cos addiction always starts small. then it grows and grows and it eats you alive. and the first thing i lose is my relationship with God, the second my relationship with people. dramas may not seem so serious david, but they are. cos you keep thinking about it, and you keep waiting for it, even if it's just once a week. and then your desire for it grows and you can't take it anymore and you watch another to fill that gap in your heart. but sigh i really have been going to empty wells to fill me. and they do not work, they just do not work. so i must stop wasting my time doing that, and start spending more time with God and doing what he wants me to do. God is better than everything this world can offer.
those things include: -everything related to the taiwan entertainment circle/ s.h.e/ jaychou/ rainieyang etc. -too much time on internet.
my blog helps me have a responsibility to keep promises haha. i can do it, jy! :D
Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
This is my cry, my one desire, just to be where you are Lord, now and forever.
♥
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
爱是对的 错的是我们还没学会爱 就急着爱人 而爱错人 4:59 PM
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church camp from 16-20th! sighsigh please let worship go smoothly, thankyou. i'm scaaaared! xD
mich, today's section outing was my kind of outing too(: heehee! see your name is appearing more! :D i guess it's really the people i treasure so i honestly dont mind just sitting around and not doing anything much. haha i will just sit and observe them then. anyway today was fun :D westcoast park is really not my kind of park i love ecp so much more HAHA. but yeah all the heights stuff was kinda cool i guess ;D watching everyone was funn. i still think the skateboard game and the rotating chairs one are the best (Y) oops?
then picnic and funny pig game and foood!! and rain and crashing macs.
and then em's house! did i ever mention that her house is pretty(: DOG! golden retriever called sally tequila. -suspiscious- where we kboxed(sort of, baa baa black sheep...? O_O) and slept on her bed and played cards and watched the hilarious flh parody.
and then it became an upper sec alto 2 outing. we talked and slept(yay) and played cards(hahaaa) and blah.
and then finally it became a batch + section gathering thingy! haha yay we pwnzz. dinner was great(spaghetti with meatballs!) and we talked :D
then car ride with mich, and talk was good (:
conclusion: i like today's alto 2 outing.
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yesterday's kbox with hazel lausy and winnie and em was epic fun! why do i keep seeing that woman! xD haha i still owe you a dollar, that's bugging meeee!
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dinner with rachellee tomato at astons was nicenice. duh! i do nottttt have a bad sense of direction! who am i kidding D: anyway! i will still learn to drive. and i will drive you around. and you will get lost and i will get lost and we will get lost together!
yupp i understand. i do, really. it's okay i trust you i'll wait patiently(: thanks for listening! i never expected an answer anyway.
:D loveyou too.
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now tomorrow i will be doing work, at last. heh i will do chem and write songs for rs, and look at the ss pt paper for the first time.
♥
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
a little fall of rain 11:57 PM
am sitting under the aircon of my parents room at 12 midnight. dad is out with brothers eating noodles for supper, mom is sleeping not very far from me.
talking to chia tonight was nice. yayy thank God you're back. every time i talk to her my brain opens up a little bit more, and i feel enlightened. HAHA. (you'll never see this! ) but it's mutual, i thinkk. we talk about a lot of things, as usual. one part was that we were thinking about what we were going to be. and i told her that i think i can be anything i want to be, if i only tried hard enough. oh and also, what do we have, exactly? and hmm, why are we caring so much?
talking to mich about how my october 2009 post in my old blog was philosophical really made me think more also haha. what happened to my love for greek philosophy? for literature? what happened to my times of thinking and thinking, until i couldn't think anymore? maybe life caught up with me and took away those things, replacing them with others. i should get them back.
is enriching the self, besides things like music and dance and reading-the things i'm looking at, also tied to enriching the mind? with ideas and thoughts?
"Ideas are like stars, Mary Chapin Carpenter
here for a moment is every place in the world and ideas are like stars- they fall from the sky, they run round your head they litter your sleep as they beckon they teach you to fly without wires or thread" (via gatheredinsideyourdoor.wordpress)
should i start writing better on my blog? i know i could, really. perhaps i should stop writing about shallow things. perhaps the image that i give others is not very accurate.
then again, there are a lot of different sides to people. then again, i dont know anything. God knows everything.
is this considered philosophical, mich? :D btw you're featured see HAHA tag if you see this!
♥
S factor. *cough* 8:48 PM
HAHA THIS IS TOO FUNNY STOOPS.
:D :D :D
last ten seconds is truly (Y)
♥
Beautiful Seed 11:34 AM
i love my family(: haha. time spent with them is time i treasure. they're funny and hilarious and witty and oooh so awesome.
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yupp anyway i'm opening my blog now(: sorry to all the people who worried xD haha i will try to never have the need to lock my blog again.
等待很久了，或许是时间放手把。 我把这心里的恐惧，痛，不确定， 都交给上帝。 我还爱你，你知道吗？
♥
Monday, June 7, 2010
please. 12:21 AM
"Prayer For A Friend"
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do I lift my friend to You Complicated circumstances have clouded his view Lord, I lift my friend up to You
I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere Lord, I lift my friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do And Lord, I lift my friend up to You
'cause there's a way that seems so right to him But You know where that leads He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings Lord, I lift my friend up to You My friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do I lift my friend to You
♥
Sunday, June 6, 2010
3:28 PM
♥
Saturday, June 5, 2010
ad astra sleepover 11:36 PM
hello world! i'm happy. ask me why!
well.... BECAUSE SLEEPOVER WAS AWESOME! i've not had so much fun with so many awesome people for awhile! worries were like, poof. :D when ad astra's near, you know you sense awesomeness :D i shall not elaborate specifically on the things we did. but even if we werent doing anything in particular, it was still the funnest ever.
vic's house is really pretty(:
weiling! i'm really glad you were here! reallyreally ily for understanding! unexpected, but all the more special, ya'know? :D
♥
Thursday, June 3, 2010
batchies pwn all 5:58 PM
FACEBOOK!!!
will be the death of me hahaha! yesterday night was epicly fun! ;D
i havent laughed like that for a long time :D
WEILING. VIC. MICH. S. KIM.
THE BEST HAHHHAHA.
i was the first to start the wall post trend okay! ;D
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lunch with em mich reetz today after handing up chem pt!
i'm so glad i'm finally through with that thinggg. haha yayyy. today started off pretty badly. i waited for 966 for like 30 minutesbefore deciding to take a cab! haha then cos i didnt have enough money i made the driver drop me at a bus stop and took 190 to school T.T then i ran like siao from the busstop to school. and i reached there on time lor! haha i reached at 12.30 :D REETZ TOLD ME 12.30 okay!!
lunch was awesome! hahahha laughed like shit (Y) some parts were pretty mean, but some of it wasnt heartfelt la, right?
heehee after lunch we went to reetz's secret hideout! it was pretty cool!!! reetz told me her seaweed chicken theory!! :D :D :D thought a lot about a lot. talked a lot about a lot too.
we should do this more often. but with our whole batch :D
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I MISS CHIA AND B. D:
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although idk. i keep trying to see the good in you. is it time to let go? D: i think i dont want to.
♥
5:41 PM
If only...?
if only the people you actually wanted to talk to could be the ones who cared.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
(via itsrainingumbrellas.tumblr)
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i imagine when i'm older. i wouldnt have time to look at people's blogs, much less keep my own. how many of my friends would still have blogs? the only way we could keep each other constantly updated about our lives is through talking. on the phone? in person?
i guess thats when you really see who could stay and who couldn't, huh.
but some are just easier to keep than others.
i really hope ad astra, or at least part of it, can grow up together D:
♥
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Stealing. 6:02 PM
Gary Oak was the good guy after all
In the original Pokémon Red/Blue, when you encounter your rival in Lavender Town he asks whether or not you know what it’s like to have one of your Pokémon die. At this point in the game, he no longer has his Raticate that he used in previous battles.
Your rival battle before this took place aboard the S.S. Anne. Your rival’s Raticate sustained serious injuries from the battle…but, because crowding and confusion on the luxury liner, he was unable to make it to a Pokémon Center in time and the Raticate passed away. The real reason your rival is in Lavender Town to begin with is to lay his deceased friend to rest.
Despite all of this, your rival never outwardly tells you that you’re responsible for the death of his Pokémon. He hides his grief and instead channels that energy into the motivation he needed to continue his quest to become Indigo League Champion. The death of his Raticate effectively destroys your rival’s impish, childhood innocence. Although he tells himself that he doesn’t hold you responsible, he subconsciously holds a great deal of resentment towards you which further fuels his ambitions.
Tearfully swearing upon his Raticate’s grave to not fail in what he set out to do, he trains hard in hopes of becoming better than you…defeating you…and to eventually make it to the Pokémon League.
Mere moments after he became Indigo League champion, he was defeated…by you. Although he fulfilled his promise to his fallen Pokémon, it was only for a painfully brief instant.
In the end, your rival is scolded by his grandfather while you receive the professor’s praise. During the course of the game, you steal your rival’s innocence, crush his dreams, and ultimately snatch away the love of his own grandfather.
Oh, and by the way, your rival doesn’t have any parents. He’s an orphan.
(via keinezeit.tumblr)
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D:
i dont want to steal. i dont want to tell myself i can't help it. i can help it. i must.
♥
12:57 PM
to-do list for this holiday:
1[ ] write songs for RS 2[ ] RS survey 3[ ] read the whole pile of unread books on table 4[ ] spend more time with God 5[x] go to kbox with em and hazel 6[ ] go to colleen's house 7[x] watch glee with rachellee 8[x] soccer with david etc 9[x] sleeep 10[ ] memorise lyrics of jaychou's new album 11[x] batch outing/gathering/sleepover 12[ ] listen to what God is telling me 13[ ] more sports related activities 14[x] pack messy table(aunty packed it for me xD) 15[x] watch down with love 16[ ] sg outing 17[ ] church camp 18[ ] osl working camp 19[x] read previous posts of current and past blogs and see how dumb i am/was 20[x] chem pt 21[x] alto 2 section outing
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RACHELKOH!
haha you're the best! and today's your birthday :D thanks for being a solid ROCK, for always being retarded and hilarious and making me/us laugh! and your school life seems so drama, haha. thanks for understanding so much! and thanks for always bringing much needed entertainment to sg. :D
i hope we'll continue growing up together in Christ. and also in terms of living life to its fullest, huh. dont give up! when certain people seem annoying, or when everything seems to be against you, or when you seem unwanted/not unique.
you can always rant to me, and i know i can always rant to you too(: although i dont rant often ;D
a lot of things are in my heart kay? even if they're not written or said, it doesnt mean they dont exist.
i love you!! 8D
♥
lgmh/sbs 12:09 PM
sixbillionsecrets.com
one dark secret for every person alive? its so sad D: all the things people wish others knew.
"I'm starving and cutting myself.
Not because I think I'm fat or because hurting myself helps the pain but because I want to see if anyone will care enough to stop me.
So far, no one has. "
or
"I don't know who i am.
I don't even have a favorite color, a favorite anything.
I feel like anything i know about myself and any characteristic i have has been stolen from someone else and their personalities.
I have no self esteem or confidence, and am slowly losing my self respect. "
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lovegivesmehope.com
this is pretty cool. how much of it is real, i wonder? somehow sixbillionsecrets.com seems more convincing D:
PROFILE ♥
Cheng Yi(loo) 14 years old
September8 1995
RGSCHOIR<3 Child of God
YMpact :D
1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers
in speech
in life
in love
in faith
and in purity.
fasting starts tmr! till 8th August. i actually dont think i'll miss facebook that much xD BUT EM MUST PUT UP THE TORRES PICTURES BY TODAYYY. D:
oh btw so are we all moving to wordpress? :D
You gave me this breath, and you gave me this strength.
♥
Sunday, June 27, 2010
11:15 PM
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made is calming. When i listen to it, it's like waves of peace and love just like keep on rushing and coming, breaking over me, overwhelming me. The words ring so true and sigh, i'm so glad i found this song.
Undoubtedly, live beats recording because recording will never have the one thing a live performance has. Putting it in the words daryl said so cutely, its when you really feel the vibrations, you know? haha! But i think the recording of this song is like epic! One Voice has a long way to go before we can give that kind of full sound, that sustenance...! zomg i meltzz( like b&j's!). In the cd version, every chord is like whooooooooosh, i is :D.
AND OMG I AM SO AMAZED I FOUND A GUY WHO CAN HARMONIZE IN CHURCH HAHHAHAHAHAHA I AM SO AMAZED FINALLYYY. I IS :D!
Speaking of b&j's, today was awesome despite the 3 hours of lounging around in church being anti-social(for me, haha) and doing rachiek's math, the fail captain's ball in collared shirts and jeans and muddy slippery ground, waiting for dinah and mabel and michele to be done with their supposedly short sgl meeting. I think i have an overload of b&j's. i will just abstain from icecream for like, a month. that means i will make my brothers finish the ice cream we have at home! heehee. but i digress! today was really fun! why? because we talked about guys! haha nah not exactly, but it was a fresh, exciting, funny, comfortable talk(: let's ignore the m18 backdrop; the outing actually helped me learn a lot. :D
i'm so glad God blessed me with friends like these. (With fronds like these, who needs anemones?) :D thanks for simply understanding. esp flora, you know ily(: rachiek, you know how much i appreciate your never-ending bubble of weirdness + entertainment right? (: and thanks for being there all this time, and understanding so much :D kj, you toot! i wish..... you'll be happier :D keep coming and trying, kay(:
today turned out to be a good thing after all(: and guess what? ss transcript due on friday. lifesaver! God makes everything work(:
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hmm, world cup? uhhh. i guess i dont follow so i cant blog much about it. (: but it deserves some mentioning, because TORRES is playing! :D hmm... okayokay i thought of something!
osl people asking me: hey who do you think will win(for world cup)? me: uhm..... -deep in thought-
is china out yet?
well, people start laughing, and chia gives me a really weird look. but of course i know that china isnt gonna win la, right! .___________. right?
---
SCHOOL TMR. homg i get to see jocie and hazel and em and everyone! :D that makes me excited.
:D SCHOOOOOOOL.
--- Privileges (for Christina) Eireann Corrigan
If you are gaining weight at the acceptable pace, (which is two and a half to three pounds a week) and you have graduated from tubes and have no clumsy IV to dance partner alongside you- As long as doctor has not secured you with restraints on bed rest, then you can sign out at the nurses’ station to the pediatric unit’s toy room to play video games. It smellslike the floor where people hook their kidneys to machines and because we are not innocently sick, those nurses give us severe looks before bustling back into the rooms of the blameless leukemia patients. But they have Donkey Kong and Burger Time and also that unlatched window that leads directly out to the hospital roof. Bingo. Freebird. You watch the door while I swing over one leg at a time, then stand in front of the view, all the cars in the lot that can drive home. I’ll yank you through the window but don’t forget to turn back, prop it open with a cheap doll torso on the sill so we can get back inside. Sayonara psychiatric ward, farewell to Nurse Betsy, who believes that everyone pacing the hallway is trying to burn off breakfast. Out here, we run laps across the speckled asphalt until our sides stitch with pain. Then we do sit-ups, counting aloud to the night. There are soft patches of tar to stick a penny for each month we’ve been inside. and when we race, your gown tied in the back billowing forward and your gown tied in the front billows back and you look like a bride or some shepherdess-lost in all her robes. Soon you’ll get nervous and say it’s time to go inside. But let’s crouch together for a few more minutes and relish that good shiver, let our teeth clatter and show off our narrow shoulders to that wide and hulking sky. Tomorrow on those long sofas of group therapy, we’ll both claim we want to die. But we’ll mean: please someone convince us to stick around. Remind us over and over that we deserve to drink even the milk left over in the cereal bowl, to sop up what’s left on our plates with bread. Because last night, we stood on top of fourteen floors of suffering-from the maternity to the morgue. Hundreds of beds buckling beneath the weight of legitimate illness, thousands of plastic sacks of donated blood- We stood above all of it and did not leap. Neither of us even dangled from the grainy ledge or balanced one foot on the parapet. Let’s be honest here-we’ve hardly approached any edges at all.
i like the way this is written. (Y)
Fearfully and Wonderfully made
♥
Saturday, June 26, 2010
12:03 PM
Well, so after lots of fretting and worrying i have decided to do my ss el pt on abortion :D and after this morning i have the rough idea of what i am going to do! and pretty much typed my speech out, save for the parts which i am supposed to insert research in. :D i think its stupid that we have to hand in our script before the executive summary!
i have a weird feeling about this! because either the teachers will love it or they will hate it. i mean the topic alone, because its kinda based on moral/not moral that kinda thing, not very clear cut like other topics eg. foreign workers etc. but i dont care because at least it truly is a topic i feel passionate about. i looked at the rubrics and it does fulfil the criteria of bringing good to society when the law is changed. it does! (:
it is da weekendddddd! on thursday i watched toystory 3 and knight and day, which were both really good! today i am watching karate kid and then studying ss in church and then worship prac. :D
i'm not feeling so unprepared for school anymore, although the things i have done are still basically zero. huh weird. i will get through this, oh yes i will.
送你一个诚意的微笑！ :D
Soaring, tumbling, freewheling through an endless diamond sky
♥
Thursday, June 24, 2010
12:14 AM
was singing this during osl lucky plaza dinner! they had this pirated karaoke thingy HAHA.
aladdin has always been one of my favourite disney characters! i mean, come on, HE HAS A MONKEY. a monkeyyy!!!!11!1!!1! what more can you askkk? :DDDD
and i'm getting forgetful D: super scary i tell you!
i forgot that ashley was my classmate. then i forgot josoh was in my group. then i forgot maegan was my classmate.
NUUU T.T
Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? i like, but nooo! deny self and let God decide.
[edit] if a guy sang this nicely to me i would just melt [/edit]
---
i'm watching toy story 3 tomorrow with cousins and mom(haha)! :D
oh, and i just learnt today that ss sa is on wednesday(?!) and that math logs summary is due next week. and i still dont know when ss pt first draft is due D: first week when? grr monday and friday a lot of difference! xD
chem will do when sch repoens. must start on ss transcript. must catch up with logs and remainder factor theorem. must do overdue for like 1673202 days yanjiangci.
will not put the rest here :D
OSL
♥
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
10:01 PM
i'm glad i went for working camp(: i see osl for what it is in a clearer way now. not completely, but definitely much more.
i'm starting to feel connected to Grubs, to Team 1, and to OSL as a whole! :D i made more friends with osl mates and mentors! i had fun(: i'm excited for the rest of the journey.
i'm starting to find more meaning in the things we do and how we reflect, because i quote ashley: pc is bs. and yes i'm so glad chia kept emphasising on the fact that honesty is a very important factor in teams, if we want to progress and all. i used to think the people here all seemed to be wanting this for themselves. for the title,glory,idk. perhaps that was the wrong impression selection camp gave me. and the reflections we did, they were pointless and dragged on just to fill the alloted time slot. up until now.
although some parts are still rather fake to me, i'm beginning to see the icy mask melting, and i'm happy. i hope we'll be one big family soon, working together for a common goal, which is to serve(:
i frowned when:
she said osl was the highest sls in rgs, that everyone looks up to osl. like we were the best sl or something. i think sl projects are not ranked by title and like how hard we work, and how far we go out into the world, but by the impact we give the people we're serving, and ultimately if we fulfil our purpose of serving! but maybe she didnt mean it in that way, i shall give her the benefit of the doubt.
when the mentors asked something along the lines of "what do you think you're going there for?", i frowned when:
she said we were going to teach the kids what we know, so that one day they can become like us. hidden message: everyone wants to be like us. but what makes you think we're any better than them? you subconsciously(or consciously) keep on weaving these kind of messages in what you say, and i'm like ): but yeah i get that maybe she means they want the kind of education we have, compared to their own, cos education means so much to them.
she said that we're going there to teach the kids what we know, so that they can gain a lot in life and have a better standard in english and thus have a brighter future. that we can try to give them a chance to experience what kind of learning styles we have here, cos they will never have that chance. i mean. the way she said it, she totally meant it that we were better then them, and we were giving them a lot of things, and they should be grateful for it. grrr! this is like, similar to the previous one. both are partly true, but both people have the idea that we're like, higher than them, that we are giving them, and that's just it. as if the people are gaining a lot from what you have to give.
i hate how people don't see that we gain so much from them too! not that i've gone on it yet, but that's what should happen. and the way they put things its like, they're standing, holding out this precious thing a crouching, poor child wants- education. the way they dont crouch along with the child, interact and feel what he's feeling, it's weird. how is that serving? its the same as donating to things because you're rich, you can. it's serving from a distance, half-heartedly. they're all nice people really, but i think this is a mentality most of us subconsciously have. ):
our mentor then asked why are we here, and what we think service is. i frowned when nobody could answer D: does this mean that when we strip away the politically correct answers, we're really left with nothing? i dont believe it. when i think, i'm here because God put me to. because i want to serve in love, and i think i can learn to. and i can contribute. its all so clear, so easy when you put God in the picture, and so blur and confusing when you take Him out. service is to serve God. service in the world is to serve people? i guess by serving people you serve God. ._. i guess its the trauma from the previous questions, all of us were dumbfounded and had a momentary brainfreeze. some of them said it was too overwhelming. our mentor told us to think about it, about our answer. i knew my answer from the start. i hope they find theirs soon.
chia, stop saying you're a horrible person. you dont believe that(: fearfully and wonderfully made yeah! AWKWARD TURTLE FTW.
---
Disturb me, O Lordd!!
Oh! Happy day, happy day, I'll never be the sameeee~
♥
Monday, June 21, 2010
5:28 PM
Could we with ink the ocean fill, And were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, And every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God above Would drain the ocean dry; Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Though stretched from sky to sky.
(Y)
When I consider your heavens, th work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:3-4)
Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when i sit and when i rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in- behind and before. You have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can i go from your Spirit? Where can i flee from your prescence? If i go up to the heavens, you are there; if i make my bed in the depths, you are there. If i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there you hand will guide me, your rght hand will hold me fast.
If i say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, and light become night around me", even the darkness will not be dark to you, and night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when i was made in the secret place, when i was woven together in the depths of the earth. You saw my unformed body, All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts O Lord, how vast is the sum of them! If i were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When i awake, I am still with You.
Psalm 139:1-18. from memory.
---
i cried.
Prayer by Sir Francis Drake
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves, When our dreams have come true Because we have dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when With the abundance of things we possess We have lost our thirst For the waters of life; Having fallen in love with life, We have ceased to dream of eternity And in our efforts to build a new earth, We have allowed our vision Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, To venture on wider seas Where storms will show your mastery; Where losing sight of land, We shall find the stars. We ask You to push back The horizons of our hopes; And to push into the future In strength, courage, hope, and love.
---
O.M.G!!! :D Only Me and God, truly! :D it was awesmazing, the camp comm really did a great job! thank God yeahhhhhh! epic games, Wet And Totally Epic Relays, night games(a real big maze in church?!), b&j's, ahhh!! and the great sermons! pastor siew chye is the cutesttttt! (: i'm still having post-camp highness. :D i'm still feeling that surge of happiness! -points to title- i hope this fire never dies. i dont want it to die! it better not die! i won't let it die.
but yes, my definition of forever just took on a whole new meaning. i know i'm gonna be with God forever :D
this camp is a whole new milestone for me. because its like, a veil just got taken away from my eyes, you know? i can see things so much clearer now. and i really have to watch out for whats clogging up my life. just 4 days away from the world, and i felt so clean, so fresh, so alive. and closer to God than ever, yesyesyes! I really didnt want to go back, haha.
so here i will proclaim that i will ban myself from dramas. forever. korean, taiwan, jap, etc. not even one! idontcare. cos addiction always starts small. then it grows and grows and it eats you alive. and the first thing i lose is my relationship with God, the second my relationship with people. dramas may not seem so serious david, but they are. cos you keep thinking about it, and you keep waiting for it, even if it's just once a week. and then your desire for it grows and you can't take it anymore and you watch another to fill that gap in your heart. but sigh i really have been going to empty wells to fill me. and they do not work, they just do not work. so i must stop wasting my time doing that, and start spending more time with God and doing what he wants me to do. God is better than everything this world can offer.
those things include: -everything related to the taiwan entertainment circle/ s.h.e/ jaychou/ rainieyang etc. -too much time on internet.
my blog helps me have a responsibility to keep promises haha. i can do it, jy! :D
Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
This is my cry, my one desire, just to be where you are Lord, now and forever.
爱是对的 错的是我们还没学会爱 就急着爱人 而爱错人
♥
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
4:59 PM
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church camp from 16-20th! sighsigh please let worship go smoothly, thankyou. i'm scaaaared! xD
mich, today's section outing was my kind of outing too(: heehee! see your name is appearing more! :D i guess it's really the people i treasure so i honestly dont mind just sitting around and not doing anything much. haha i will just sit and observe them then. anyway today was fun :D westcoast park is really not my kind of park i love ecp so much more HAHA. but yeah all the heights stuff was kinda cool i guess ;D watching everyone was funn. i still think the skateboard game and the rotating chairs one are the best (Y) oops?
then picnic and funny pig game and foood!! and rain and crashing macs.
and then em's house! did i ever mention that her house is pretty(: DOG! golden retriever called sally tequila. -suspiscious- where we kboxed(sort of, baa baa black sheep...? O_O) and slept on her bed and played cards and watched the hilarious flh parody.
and then it became an upper sec alto 2 outing. we talked and slept(yay) and played cards(hahaaa) and blah.
and then finally it became a batch + section gathering thingy! haha yay we pwnzz. dinner was great(spaghetti with meatballs!) and we talked :D
then car ride with mich, and talk was good (:
conclusion: i like today's alto 2 outing.
---
yesterday's kbox with hazel lausy and winnie and em was epic fun! why do i keep seeing that woman! xD haha i still owe you a dollar, that's bugging meeee!
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dinner with rachellee tomato at astons was nicenice. duh! i do nottttt have a bad sense of direction! who am i kidding D: anyway! i will still learn to drive. and i will drive you around. and you will get lost and i will get lost and we will get lost together!
yupp i understand. i do, really. it's okay i trust you i'll wait patiently(: thanks for listening! i never expected an answer anyway.
:D loveyou too.
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now tomorrow i will be doing work, at last. heh i will do chem and write songs for rs, and look at the ss pt paper for the first time.
a little fall of rain
♥
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
11:57 PM
am sitting under the aircon of my parents room at 12 midnight. dad is out with brothers eating noodles for supper, mom is sleeping not very far from me.
talking to chia tonight was nice. yayy thank God you're back. every time i talk to her my brain opens up a little bit more, and i feel enlightened. HAHA. (you'll never see this! ) but it's mutual, i thinkk. we talk about a lot of things, as usual. one part was that we were thinking about what we were going to be. and i told her that i think i can be anything i want to be, if i only tried hard enough. oh and also, what do we have, exactly? and hmm, why are we caring so much?
talking to mich about how my october 2009 post in my old blog was philosophical really made me think more also haha. what happened to my love for greek philosophy? for literature? what happened to my times of thinking and thinking, until i couldn't think anymore? maybe life caught up with me and took away those things, replacing them with others. i should get them back.
is enriching the self, besides things like music and dance and reading-the things i'm looking at, also tied to enriching the mind? with ideas and thoughts?
"Ideas are like stars, Mary Chapin Carpenter
here for a moment is every place in the world and ideas are like stars- they fall from the sky, they run round your head they litter your sleep as they beckon they teach you to fly without wires or thread" (via gatheredinsideyourdoor.wordpress)
should i start writing better on my blog? i know i could, really. perhaps i should stop writing about shallow things. perhaps the image that i give others is not very accurate.
then again, there are a lot of different sides to people. then again, i dont know anything. God knows everything.
is this considered philosophical, mich? :D btw you're featured see HAHA tag if you see this!
S factor. *cough*
♥
8:48 PM
HAHA THIS IS TOO FUNNY STOOPS.
:D :D :D
last ten seconds is truly (Y)
Beautiful Seed
♥
11:34 AM
i love my family(: haha. time spent with them is time i treasure. they're funny and hilarious and witty and oooh so awesome.
---
yupp anyway i'm opening my blog now(: sorry to all the people who worried xD haha i will try to never have the need to lock my blog again.
等待很久了，或许是时间放手把。 我把这心里的恐惧，痛，不确定， 都交给上帝。 我还爱你，你知道吗？
please.
♥
Monday, June 7, 2010
12:21 AM
"Prayer For A Friend"
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do I lift my friend to You Complicated circumstances have clouded his view Lord, I lift my friend up to You
I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere Lord, I lift my friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do And Lord, I lift my friend up to You
'cause there's a way that seems so right to him But You know where that leads He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings Lord, I lift my friend up to You My friend up to You
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do I lift my friend to You
♥
Sunday, June 6, 2010
3:28 PM
ad astra sleepover
♥
Saturday, June 5, 2010
11:36 PM
hello world! i'm happy. ask me why!
well.... BECAUSE SLEEPOVER WAS AWESOME! i've not had so much fun with so many awesome people for awhile! worries were like, poof. :D when ad astra's near, you know you sense awesomeness :D i shall not elaborate specifically on the things we did. but even if we werent doing anything in particular, it was still the funnest ever.
vic's house is really pretty(:
weiling! i'm really glad you were here! reallyreally ily for understanding! unexpected, but all the more special, ya'know? :D
batchies pwn all
♥
Thursday, June 3, 2010
5:58 PM
FACEBOOK!!!
will be the death of me hahaha! yesterday night was epicly fun! ;D
i havent laughed like that for a long time :D
WEILING. VIC. MICH. S. KIM.
THE BEST HAHHHAHA.
i was the first to start the wall post trend okay! ;D
---
lunch with em mich reetz today after handing up chem pt!
i'm so glad i'm finally through with that thinggg. haha yayyy. today started off pretty badly. i waited for 966 for like 30 minutesbefore deciding to take a cab! haha then cos i didnt have enough money i made the driver drop me at a bus stop and took 190 to school T.T then i ran like siao from the busstop to school. and i reached there on time lor! haha i reached at 12.30 :D REETZ TOLD ME 12.30 okay!!
lunch was awesome! hahahha laughed like shit (Y) some parts were pretty mean, but some of it wasnt heartfelt la, right?
heehee after lunch we went to reetz's secret hideout! it was pretty cool!!! reetz told me her seaweed chicken theory!! :D :D :D thought a lot about a lot. talked a lot about a lot too.
we should do this more often. but with our whole batch :D
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I MISS CHIA AND B. D:
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although idk. i keep trying to see the good in you. is it time to let go? D: i think i dont want to.
♥
5:41 PM
If only...?
if only the people you actually wanted to talk to could be the ones who cared.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
(via itsrainingumbrellas.tumblr)
---
i imagine when i'm older. i wouldnt have time to look at people's blogs, much less keep my own. how many of my friends would still have blogs? the only way we could keep each other constantly updated about our lives is through talking. on the phone? in person?
i guess thats when you really see who could stay and who couldn't, huh.
but some are just easier to keep than others.
i really hope ad astra, or at least part of it, can grow up together D:
Stealing.
♥
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
6:02 PM
Gary Oak was the good guy after all
In the original Pokémon Red/Blue, when you encounter your rival in Lavender Town he asks whether or not you know what it’s like to have one of your Pokémon die. At this point in the game, he no longer has his Raticate that he used in previous battles.
Your rival battle before this took place aboard the S.S. Anne. Your rival’s Raticate sustained serious injuries from the battle…but, because crowding and confusion on the luxury liner, he was unable to make it to a Pokémon Center in time and the Raticate passed away. The real reason your rival is in Lavender Town to begin with is to lay his deceased friend to rest.
Despite all of this, your rival never outwardly tells you that you’re responsible for the death of his Pokémon. He hides his grief and instead channels that energy into the motivation he needed to continue his quest to become Indigo League Champion. The death of his Raticate effectively destroys your rival’s impish, childhood innocence. Although he tells himself that he doesn’t hold you responsible, he subconsciously holds a great deal of resentment towards you which further fuels his ambitions.
Tearfully swearing upon his Raticate’s grave to not fail in what he set out to do, he trains hard in hopes of becoming better than you…defeating you…and to eventually make it to the Pokémon League.
Mere moments after he became Indigo League champion, he was defeated…by you. Although he fulfilled his promise to his fallen Pokémon, it was only for a painfully brief instant.
In the end, your rival is scolded by his grandfather while you receive the professor’s praise. During the course of the game, you steal your rival’s innocence, crush his dreams, and ultimately snatch away the love of his own grandfather.
Oh, and by the way, your rival doesn’t have any parents. He’s an orphan.
(via keinezeit.tumblr)
---
D:
i dont want to steal. i dont want to tell myself i can't help it. i can help it. i must.
♥
12:57 PM
to-do list for this holiday:
1[ ] write songs for RS 2[ ] RS survey 3[ ] read the whole pile of unread books on table 4[ ] spend more time with God 5[x] go to kbox with em and hazel 6[ ] go to colleen's house 7[x] watch glee with rachellee 8[x] soccer with david etc 9[x] sleeep 10[ ] memorise lyrics of jaychou's new album 11[x] batch outing/gathering/sleepover 12[ ] listen to what God is telling me 13[ ] more sports related activities 14[x] pack messy table(aunty packed it for me xD) 15[x] watch down with love 16[ ] sg outing 17[ ] church camp 18[ ] osl working camp 19[x] read previous posts of current and past blogs and see how dumb i am/was 20[x] chem pt 21[x] alto 2 section outing
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RACHELKOH!
haha you're the best! and today's your birthday :D thanks for being a solid ROCK, for always being retarded and hilarious and making me/us laugh! and your school life seems so drama, haha. thanks for understanding so much! and thanks for always bringing much needed entertainment to sg. :D
i hope we'll continue growing up together in Christ. and also in terms of living life to its fullest, huh. dont give up! when certain people seem annoying, or when everything seems to be against you, or when you seem unwanted/not unique.
you can always rant to me, and i know i can always rant to you too(: although i dont rant often ;D
a lot of things are in my heart kay? even if they're not written or said, it doesnt mean they dont exist.
i love you!! 8D
lgmh/sbs
♥
12:09 PM
sixbillionsecrets.com
one dark secret for every person alive? its so sad D: all the things people wish others knew.
"I'm starving and cutting myself.
Not because I think I'm fat or because hurting myself helps the pain but because I want to see if anyone will care enough to stop me.
So far, no one has. "
or
"I don't know who i am.
I don't even have a favorite color, a favorite anything.
I feel like anything i know about myself and any characteristic i have has been stolen from someone else and their personalities.
I have no self esteem or confidence, and am slowly losing my self respect. "
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lovegivesmehope.com
this is pretty cool. how much of it is real, i wonder? somehow sixbillionsecrets.com seems more convincing D:
